Bad At Grief

I’ve been thinking about that sentence ever since. It assumes grief is something you can be graded on. But who wrote the rubric? Mostly stage models, the idea of ‘closure,’ and a culture that wants grief to be quick and private. When people say they’re bad at it, they might mean they cry too much, or can’t cry, or feel numb, or feel relief, or are still in it years later. Each of those is just grief taking a form. Rather than wondering if we’re grieving correctly, we could ask a better question- “what helps me stay in relationship with what I lost?”

"Je ne savais comment l'atteindre, où le rejoindre... C'est tellement mystérieux le pays des larmes." -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

There is more to empathy than just taking on another person's feelings. It's about being open to how someone might feel, without judgment or assumption. It's about actively listening, and then really thinking about what you say and whether it really needs to be said. Sometimes, the best way to listen is silently.

Music Therapy for Processing Emotion in Clients with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities

This tension is representative of the aforementioned difficult emotions- suspense, uncertainty, sadness- and the resolution can help listeners move through these issues to a resolution of positivity. Unresolved tensions in music, as well as key changes or rhythmic surprises, can help listeners learn to deal with unexpected changes and accept them.

Week in the Life of Maine Music & Health

In the afternoon I headed to York for a music therapy group in which we are working on breath support through singing and recorder playing.

Music Therapy Successes

(207) 233-8734 • kate@mainemusicandhealth.com • Portland, Maine